The pun, also called paronomasia, is a form of word play which suggests two or more meanings, by exploiting multiple meanings of words, or of similar-sounding words, for an intended humorous or rhetorical effect (from: Wikipedia).
As I helped my elderly neighbor clean out his garage, I stumbled upon an ax in the corner. “That was my grandfather’s,” he said, picking it up and running his fingers along the blade. “Of course, it’s been through three new heads since he last used it.”
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A boy answers the phone. The caller asks, "Where are your parents?"
ОтветитьУдалить"They ain't here!"
"Come on, son. Where's your grammar?"
"My gramma ain't here neither. She's gone to church!"
Sookie Stackhouse: So I've been listening in on people's thoughts, hoping I might hear something to clear him and apparently there's this vampire bar where Maudette and Dawn used to hang out at in Shreeveport. You know it?
ОтветитьУдалитьBill Compton: Fangtasia.
Sookie Stackhouse: Fang-tasia?
Bill Compton: You have to remember that most vampires are very old. Puns used to be the highest form of humor.
‘I had NOT!’ cried the Mouse, sharply and very angrily.
ОтветитьУдалить‘A knot!’ said Alice, always ready to make herself useful.
***
“There is the tree in the middle,” said the Rose. “What else is it good for?”
“And what could it do, if any danger come?” Alice asked
“It could bark,” said the Rose.
“It says ‘Bough-wough’,” cried a Daisy. “That’s why its branches are called boughs.”
***
Why was the mother flea so sad? - Because her children were going to the dogs.
Why did the student always take cold baths? - Because he didn’t want to get into hot water.
Why are comedians like doctors? - Because they keep people in stitches
***
- Did you hear about Miss Jones?
- No. What’s up?
- Why, she eloped with one of the boarders in the hotel.
- Oh, that was only a roomer!
"Why can a man never starve in the Great Desert? Because he can eat the sand which is there. But what brought the sandwiches there? Why, Noah sent Ham, and his descendants mustered and bred."
ОтветитьУдалить***
When an actress saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she would dye.
Kruzhaieva S.
ОтветитьУдалить"Look deep into our ryes."
(slogan of Wigler's Bakery)
"When it pours, it reigns."
(slogan of Michelin tires)
In The Importance of Being Earnest, the pun, widely considered to be the lowest form of verbal wit, is rarely just a play on words. The pun in the title is a case in point. The earnest/Ernest joke strikes at the very heart of Victorian notions of respectability and duty. Gwendolen wants to marry a man called Ernest, and she doesn’t care whether the man actually possesses the qualities that comprise earnestness.
How do you cut the ocean in half? With a see-saw.
ОтветитьУдалитьYou can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish.
"Infinity is not in finity."
"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana."
(Чарской Юлии)
Watching the movie Titanic is a real downer.
ОтветитьУдалитьWhat do you call a royal printmaker? A screen prince.
I have a high fidelity phone - it can only call my wife's number.
I've never killed a deer before but I'll take a shot at it.
(Martemyanova)
— Hello, are you there?
ОтветитьУдалить— Yes, who are you please?
— I'm Watt.
— What's your name?
— Watt's my name.
— Yes, what's your name?
— My name is John Watt.
— John what?
— Yes, are you Jones?
— No I'm Knott.
— Will you tell me your name then?
— Will Knott.
— Why not?
— My name is Knott.
— Not what?
— Not Watt, Knott.
— What?
"Your children need your presence more than your presents."
ОтветитьУдалить(Jesse Jackson)
Dieting is a matter of life and breadth.
At a pizza shop: 7 days without pizza makes one weak.
Without geometry, life is pointless.
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ОтветитьУдалить("Hogfather" after Terry Pratchett
ОтветитьУдалитьThe dialog between Death and Albert about children)
Death: Let's go sleigh them!
[looks at Albert]
Death: I don't know if you noticed Albert, but that was a pun, or play of words.
Albert: Ho ho ho sir.
Kravchenko, 311